I woke up stiff and groggy but the cold
steel cot soon reminded me why
I was in an Ottawa Police jail cell. Project
Robin Hood. They police
had been trying to find me for a week.
A cross-Canada arrest warrant
had been issued for me yesterday and the
four more hours on that cold
cot before my bail hearing made me curse
my judgment. I should have
given myself up in the morning and been
spared the night on the cold
steel bed. Giving up after a 4p.m. press
conference made for a long
night waiting until court in the morning.
Laying on my back using my jacket as a
pillow, I saw the same kind of
graffiti on the ceiling I had noticed
upon my first visit to the old
Ottawa jail as a manacled guest 18 years
ago. Burned into the ceiling
were names and their lives of crimes:
"Vince Violencia, assault with a
deadly weapon!" "Tommy Latrouble, robbery
with violence!" So I had
also written my alleged indictable offence
with my matches: "John
Turmel, gambling with cards!"
I would love to have seen the reaction
of officers patrolling Canada's
lonely highways when my arrest warrant
came over the air: "Project
Robin Hood: Be on the lookout for John
Turmel. Dangerous with a deck
of cards." That's right. The latest criminal
to hit the wanted posters
was John Turmel, professional gambler.
Though I had graduated from
Carleton University in Ottawa in electrical
engineering, I had become
a professional gambler who has been in
the lawful business of gambling
for over 20 years. I was wanted for having
operated the biggest gaming
house ever raided in Canadian history.
Things had started to look bad for my bank-roll
the moment Bob Rae
became premier of Ontario and announced
that they were becoming my
competition in the gambling business.
As a poor-kid entrepreneur, I
had run against the rich-kid socialist
in a 1982 by-election and I
doubt Bob can forget his drubbing in our
debates. My government
competitor wasn't being run by someone
who had happy memories of
tangling with me.
But the camel's back really started to
break last week when the Ottawa
Citizen ran a huge front-page story titled
"It's no bluff: Casino
owners flush with success" detailing my
27 table 100- employee Casino
Turmel at the Topaz Entertainment Plaza
in Ottawa. The story explained
how I had been raided many other times
before finding a loophole in
the gambling laws which got my last casino
acquitted of being a gaming
house in 1989. This explained why my Poker
and Blackjack parlor was so
big and why it had operated in public
for over a year and a half
without police intervention.
Having fought for so long and paid the
penal price to find a way to
run my kind of casino legally, I thought
I'd finally punched through.
With that acquittal, I thought I had won
myself many years of lead
time to establish my kind of legal casinos
in Ontario before the
government could establish theirs. I had
meetings with the police
every step of the way.
My winning formula for small and medium
"Mom-and-Pop" "Cheers- with-
chips" Poker and Blackjack Parlors went
from 10 employees to 100 in
its third six months and grossed winnings
of over $3 million. I had
announced expansion from 100 to 1000 employees
in three more locations
right in front of Bob Rae's office at
Queen's Park in Toronto. I hoped
for another $30 million in another six
months. I'd have bet another
10-fold increase in jobs from 1,000 to
10,000 in another 6 months
across Ontario for another $300 million
before taking my loophole to
the other provinces.
The real problem was that my kind of private
casino was open for
action 7 days a week 24 hours a day with
Blackjack betting limits of
$300 while the limits were $10 for Bob
Rae's government- licenced
casinos. With no rake-off at the Poker
while Bob's casinos didn't have
poker at all, it was a combination that
couldn't be beaten. I figured
my loophole could have made me a billionaire
within a couple of years
while creating a new industry my way and
tens of thousands of jobs in
the process. I had to be stopped or I'd
get rich and spend all my
gambling winnings setting up charitable
projects all around the world.
The Sheriff's men did, after all, call
it "Project Robin Hood" for
good reason.
I had gambled that if they left me alone,
I'd always be able to pay
the government it's 50% in income taxes
from the second half of the
year. So I spent it all, after expenses,
as fast as it came in. And I
spent it all on Greendollar Local Employment
Trading Software
promotion and development and charity.
So now I owe Revenue Canada
over $300 thousand which I'll never be
able to pay.
Another problem was that after not one
but two Provincial Court judges
at Ottawa had ruled that Turmel-style
gambling does not fall under any
of the five (5) definitions of a gaming
house, they hadn't appealed
because the two judges were right. My
Poker and Blackjack Parlors in
Ottawa and Toronto did not fall under
any of the five (5) illegal
definitions.
Yet, I knew problems were brewing when
the Toronto Police telephoned
to inform me that I must close down my
Toronto game after six months
in open operation or they would charge
me no matter what the Ottawa
judges had said. I wonder how many times
the Sheriff told Jesse James
to take his illegal gain and get out of
town or he'd be charged. If my
Toronto Poker and Blackjack parlor was
really illegal, why did they
let me get away? I can only conclude they
were on shaky ground and
knew it. It was political rather than
judicial force I was dealing
with. Still, to avoid the legal harassment
of my dealers and gambling
acquaintances, I closed down rather than
be charged which might have
also emboldened the Ottawa police to raid
my Ottawa game.
The proper procedure to challenge my Ottawa
Topaz Parlor would have
been for the Crown to have made an application
to the Ontario Court of
Appeal for an extension of time to appeal
the first two acquittals.
Supposedly, only a panel of three judges
of the Court of Appeal may
conclude differently than the trial judges.
The problem with doing it
the right legal way through the Court
of Appeal was that it would have
left me acquitted and open while we argued.
And they had to close me
down or I'd get too big.
They faced another problem in dealing with
me. Ever since my first
raid when I went broke paying a lawyer
to defend me, I've been doing
my own legal representation. Rather than
be limited by the money I
have to pay a lawyer, it's allowed me
to fight as hard as possible for
the least money. Taking on that legal
responsibility has also allowed
me to become a guerrilla lawyer for hundreds
of other cases. I had won
my case in 1989 myself which might reinforce
my case for being not
only an expert in the mathematics of gambling
but also an expert in
the law of gambling.
To stress that only the Court of Appeal
had power to overturn the
first two acquittals and let them raid
my Topaz game, I made that
application for them and offered to consent
to the extension of time
for the Crown to appeal since they themselves
hadn't thought to ask.
The Crown didn't want to appeal and Justice
Finlayson couldn't grant
the extension they themselves would not
ask for.
So the pressure continued to build. There
were television interviews.
There were full-page ads in the papers.
The politicians were
complaining on the media. The Mayor of
Ottawa had bemoaned her having
to wait for government permission to open
a casino while I was just
going ahead and doing it. Other politicians
were demanding something
be done. You just don't expect to survive
that kind of heat even if
you're legal.
Sure enough, two days after the big front-page
news story, my cellular
phone-call rang and Sgt. Bob Cleary of
the Ottawa Police Services
informed me that they and the Ontario
Provincial Police had just
raided Casino Turmel in "Project Robin
Hood." The Charter Right not to
be charged again once acquitted seemed
not worth the paper it's
printed on when the government wants to
stop you.
Worse news, they were also throwing in
the silly charges of keeping a
bookmaking house, being in the business
of bookmaking and controlling
from monies from bookmaking. As bookmaking
is on events you don't
participate in and gaming is on events
where you do like cards,
bookmaking charges against my card games
have always been thrown out.
Adding bookmaking charges they will have
to later withdraw or lose was
simply to make their weak case look stronger.
The police were also searching for the
$3 million as the proceeds of
my crime. It had been different in Toronto.
There, the police had told
me to get out of town with my ill-gotten
gains or they'd charge me.
The Ottawa Police gave me no such choice.
If I lose, penalties might be stiff. The
new Proceeds of Crime laws
mandate that I be left broke to avoid
going to jail. Luckily, as
reported in the Ottawa Sun Quote of the
Week: "I knew they weren't
going to let me keep it so I spent it
all." But I faced fines of
millions which meant up to 10 years in
jail for a broke man who can't
buy his way out.
They had wanted me to come to Ottawa and
give myself up to their
search warrant or they'd issue an arrest
warrant for me. Usually,
keepers of gaming houses are arrested
on the search warrant but I'd
been expecting them and had hidden out
for months while my Ottawa
casino hummed along. I was in no mood
to save them trouble and said I
had to prepare my defence before giving
myself up. Sgt. Cleary kept
calling my lady, Pauline Morrissette,
asking that I give myself up but
I stayed holed-up in Toronto writing an
Affidavit in verse, iambic
pentameter, of over 400 lines telling
my story which took a week.
Finally, the Ottawa police announced at
a press conference that a
Canada-wide arrest warrant had been issued.
I made a bee-line to
Ottawa to give myself up.
The next day, many of our 122 casino employees
marched outside the
courthouse to protest losing their jobs.
But there was nothing that
anyone was going to be able to do about
it. Now that the government
had decided to use the justice department
to attack me again, even if
I am acquitted again, the head-start I
had in the industry will be
gone. If they show no case for charging
a formerly-acquitted person
again, it will be safe to say that I'm
one of the biggest robbery
victims in Canadian history. What's even
more unusual is that it was
the Government of Ontario doing the robbing.
Should I be acquitted
once again, you can bet I'll sue them
for the billion.
Now, here I was, an electrical engineering
graduate publicly manacled
in my home-town once again. Carleton University,
my Alma Mater
certainly couldn't have been very proud.
They had many clues I wasn't
going to be an ordinary engineer. My engineering
project was a
computer program on Poker after I'd aced
a new mathematics course
which Carleton University had just authorized
and which directly led
me to Las Vegas, Atlantic City, and my
life of crime: Math 69.140, the
Mathematics of Gambling.
I had first started playing Poker in high
school. I was a winner in
general and we played off and on with
school chums for the next two
years until I graduated. I also remember
one night I lost everything I
had and it was a most depressing experience.
I only lost $2,000 more
than I had once in my life and was lucky
that Prof. Schneider was
there to bail me out. I don't think I
ever over-bet my bankroll again.
Several of my high-school classmates went
to Carleton University where
we continued playing Poker in the student
lounges. In 1974, Carleton
University offered a course unique to
Canada which was to change my
life's direction called Math 69:140, the
"Mathematics of Gambling"
taught by Dr. Walter Schneider who had
also taught me my second-year
engineering mathematics and played in
our friendly legal no-rake-off
Poker game.
In the gambling course, I learned about
games that can be beaten and
games that cannot. I learned how to beat
Blackjack. I turned out to be
Walter's star pupil and he gave me an
A+. After reading several books,
my winning rate at Poker increased by
150% from $8 an hour to $20 an
hour!
One day, Walter and I were having lunch
at a local restaurant and hit
upon the notion of an "optimal betting"
curve which could guarantee,
when chasing a better hand, catching all
situations where the odds are
good enough to call and avoiding all situations
where they are not
good enough to call and, as a corollary,
to guarantee, when in the
lead, never giving an opponent a situation
where the odds are good
enough for him to call.
Such a computer analysis had never been
done and Walter suggested that
I apply to have "A COMPUTER ANALYSIS OF
CANADIAN STUD POKER" accepted
as the fourth-year engineering project.
Canadian Stud, the most
popular game in Canada at that point,
was played just like five card
stud but where one pair was beaten by
a four straight which was in
turn beaten by a four flush which was
then beaten by two pairs. A
simple variation. My project was
presented to the 1976 Third
Conference on Gambling at Ceasar's Palace
in Las Vegas on Dec. 21,
1976. I have been accredited six times
by courts in Ontario and Quebec
to give expert testimony in matters related
to gambling.
Using the betting system devised in "A
Computer Analysis of Canadian
Stud," the slope of my Poker winnings
at Canadian Stud went up another
150%! Rather than become a professional
electrical engineer, I chose
to specialize in the profession of gambling,
"statistical
engineering," and became the teaching
assistant of the Math 69:140
course for four more years until 1978
when Prof. W. Schneider had to
dismiss me for running a highly-publicized
Blackjack game in the
Carleton Faculty Club as part of my legalization
campaign.
In November 1974, I went on my first 5-day
4-night junket to the
Thunderbird Hotel & Casino in Las
Vegas. I needed to bring a bankroll
of $3,000 and had to bet a minimum of
$15 for at least 10 hours over
the 5 days. I didn't have $3,000 so I
approached my mother who went to
the bank to borrow the equivalent of 2.5
years worth of rent to send
me to Vegas to take on the pros. That's
what I call faith. Not many
mothers would go borrow to provide their
sons with money to gamble. It
sure did pay off though. Maybe my proficiency
in betting on winners is
genetic?
I learned the Revere Point Count system
a few days before leaving and
after playing a total of 40 hours, I ended
up with a $1600 profit. A
nice start to my junketing career. I went
on junkets to almost all the
casinos in Vegas. From 1974 to 1979, I
traveled on over 55 different
junkets. The most unique was a trip aboard
Caesar's Chariot, a
converted 707 that seated only 45 passengers.
It was the most opulent
luxurious plane I've ever seen.
Then the bubble burst. I was on my second
junket in a row to the
Hilton Hotel. I had won $5,000 on my first
all-expense paid junket
there and was quickly up another $5,000
on my second trip. The Hilton
offered one deck in those days which I
could beat at about 4%, a very
hefty advantage. I was betting from two
hands of $25 up to 3 hands of
$200. After a particularly great session
and after a particularly
great feast, before I could start playing
again, a pit boss took me
aside and said "Mr. Turmel, we would appreciate
it if you would
restrict your action to the craps tables."
I asked why. "You mean you
don't know?" I said "You've got your fair
chance to break me." He
answered "No, sir, we have no chance at
all." And that was it for the
Hilton. No more wonderful complimentary
junkets at one of the nicest
hotels there.
Even though I tried to better disguise
my play at other hotels, the
Sands hotel's pit bosses eventually became
hostile and I noticed the
words "Do not invite" written across my
file as I checked out.
I knew that as long as no one was excluded
from being the bank at
Blackjack, I could play it in Canada so
I developed "U-bank" rules and
started running Blackjack games around
Ottawa for the next 20 years.
Nevertheless, up until 1988, I was raided,
charged and convicted of
keeping a common gaming house six times.
But, finally, after being
raided in 1988, Judge Fontana was the
first judge to see the fairness
of my rules and acquit the game.
In 1985, I began hosting the annual Ottawa
Region Holdem Poker
Championships. In 1991, I began hosting
the annual Canadian Open
Holdem Poker Championships won by Greg
Petriv of Toronto. Bill Liston
of Ottawa won it in 1992. Robby Gingras,
who has gone on to win some
other major tournaments in California
and was recently seen on
television at the Toronto Holdem tournament,
won in 1993. Tony
Laughing Jr., son of Tony Laughing who
ran the Akwasasne New York
Indian reserve's largest Poker palace
before being shut down, won in
1994. Steen Rassow from Cardinal, Ontario
won in 1995. He and his wife
Lynn are well-known in Poker rooms around
the States and Canada. Al
Krux, another well-known professional
from Rochester, came second.
I have also been most prominent in politics
and law relating to casino
gambling in Canada and have been the subject
of many legal and
political precedents. I am the gambler
who will be in the 1997
Guinness Book of World Records for
the most electoral gambles (41)
and most electoral losses (41). My electoral
program offered to get
governments to run their dollar currency
systems like casinos run our
chip currency systems by backing money
up one-to-one with collateral
with no interest to generate inflation
or unemployment.
In 1991, I was charged again in Quebec
where they showed a distinct
linguistic inability to grasp Judge Fontana's
reasoning and convicted
me anyway. Upon returning to Ontario where
the English language posed
no such difficulties, I was again in 1993
charged with the same
offence I'd been acquitted of.
Since that conviction, I've been playing
Poker professionally in legal
casinos in Ottawa, Toronto, Atlantic City
and Biloxi, Mississippi.
My engineering specialty is condensing
and systematizing masses of
statistical gambling information into
mechanical fingers-and- toes
applications. Call it mental software.
The system I derived and published in the
rec.gambling.poker newsgroup
to quickly determine "a priori" odds and
the Two-Step Point Count
system to determine the necessary calling
odds are good examples of
reducing great masses of information to
a simple usable algorithm.
In 1989, I engineered an exceedingly fast
system for making very close
approximations of the required pot odds
using what I called the Turmel
Two-Step Poker Point Count System which
anyone can use to almost
instantaneously evaluate their Holdem
hand.
The other Poker Power Tools are all easy
to learn and of untold value.
I seem to make use of them all on a regular
basis and would bet that
they become part of every professional
poker player's arsenal of
techniques.
I've been using it since I devised it in
1989 and my success at the
tables everywhere is testament to its
power. The one thing the
Canadian Stud analysis discovered was
that the smaller your edge, the
more aggressive you have to be. Having
a system which helps you
determine when you have those small edges
and forces you to become
super aggressive startles people when
they finally see your cards.
I've been called names ranging from "the
Maniac" "Raising John" to
"the Engineer" or "the Professor." At
the same game!
I've never seen any other consistent winners
play like me. This system
calls for raising wars on cards one doesn't
expect to able to raise
with and people are always punished more
when you hit a hand they
didn't expect you to hit. People are always
rolling their eyes when
they finally see the "crap" I caught with
to take down a pot. One of
the better players said: "I won't play
with you without real power
because I don't need the variance" after
he had just folded a stronger
hand pre-flop than I had raised with.
When the Turmel Two-Step Poker
Point Count System becomes widely-known,
I'm sure Holdem will be
played much more aggressively by all.
Chapter I:
Details of the Poker Tool engineering.
Most Poker readers will find
all the Poker Power promised by this book
on the first page of the
Poker section with the Turmel Two-Step.
Chapter II:
Details of the battle to legalize casinos
in Canada detailing the
fight over the biggest gaming house raid
in Canadian history.
Chapter III:
Details how I spent millions in winnings
on the repairing the faulty
engineering design of our global money
system in an attempt to abolish
the interest rate rake-off. Quite the
project which has involved
political, legal, and barter activities
of unique implications. It's
just as useful to save money in the outside
economy as it is to win
money inside the casino economy.