July 1995 Internet Kook of the Month - John "Turmoil" Turmel

Article #37885 (38072 is last):
From: kamamer@io.org (karl mamer)
Newsgroups: tor.general,ont.general,
Subject: Kook of the Month, guess who?
Date: Tue Aug  8 10:29:19 1995

Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks
Subject: KotM July - What, already?
Date: Thu, 03 Aug 1995 13:06:27 -0800
Organization: arcana on spec

KOOK OF THE MONTH FOR JULY 1995 - John "Turmoil" Turmel
in tor.general, ont.general, can.general, can.taxes, and a whole lotta
other newsgroups, John leads a One-Man Crusade to explain that
Christ spoke in differential equations.

     JCT: For years, whenever anyone did an internet search for John
Turmel, the first article they ran into was:

Net Kooks
by Morris Jones

Australia's non-specific discussion newsgroup, aus.general, has
mostly been a pleasant place for locals to get together and watch
the world around them. Yet earlier this year, our normally peaceful
forum was invaded by Canada as part of an overall campaign to
conquer the newsgroups of the world. Logging in from Toronto, a
user by the name of Bob Allisat has flooded Usenet with a seemingly
endless series of unwanted postings, leaving a bandwidth-cramming
trail of arguments and pointless messages in his wake. But Bob
Allisat isn't trying to sell a product or make you send him money.
He's the quintessential example of a Net kook.
The term 'kook', according to one definition, is a corruption of
the word 'cuckoo', and carries exactly the same meaning.

Another contemporary Canadian Net kook who is somewhat eclipsed by
Bob Allisat's stellar performances is John Turmel. His postings
have reached Australia, the UK, and other places where they are
most unwelcome, such as his own nation. Turmel pushes a strange
blend of Christianity and economics, and believes that he can
derive differential equations by studying verses from the Bible.
The backlash against Turmel's messages have followed a similar
pattern, although someone in Canada recently released a cancelbot
against his postings to more than 14 newsgroups. Turmel is also
still at large, so watch out for his postings on aus.general or

     JCT: It is interesting to ponder what it is about arguing that
Christ spoke in differential equations that renders readers so
incensed as to warrant such an award. Yet, one Physics student from a
Texas University did solve the puzzle and come up with the correct
differential equation for Matthew 13:12: dB/dt=iB where i is the
interest rate and B is your bank balance. Imagine. Only one other
person from over a dozen newsgroups which included engineering and
economics managed to see the differential equation in Matthew 13:12
and Matthew 25:29 with Luke 8:18 and Luke 19:26 too.





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